Summer in the city – note abandoned bike!
High mehar (dowry) demands are putting many young local men off marriage. Some even state that seeking a woman’s hand in marriage is like attending an auction, with parents willing to give their daughters away only to whoever can cough up the most money.
Twenty-four-year-old Rashid Al Athba said: “The dowry demands are very high. In some families, the demand can be for as much as QR200,000. If men insist on getting married, they often have to resort to taking out big loans for the dowry.”
Mohammad Rashid, a 26-year-old, said: “Marriageable women are now feeling superior and I don’t understand why. Once our young men enter into married life, they have to pay off their loans which can take as long as 15 years. Personally, I don’t plan to get married for at least another five years.”
Rashid said: “I want to enjoy life and also buy the car I have my heart set on. I am willing to even marry a girl who is not local. I am studying this matter seriously and the dowry is much less.”
Rashid said that if the attitudes of women’s families don’t change soon, the country will have a glut of spinsters.
Twenty-three-year-old Saud Yousuf Al Ishak, an accountant, said: “To get married here can set back one by anything between Eu7,000 to Eu10,000. Some families may even ask for more”
Twenty-five-year-old Hassan Yousuf Al Jenahi said: “An expensive mehar can lead to eventual unhappiness for the couple. The man will be under severe financial pressure to pay back the loans and the wife will also face a burden.”
Twenty-two-year-old Hamad Mubarak Al Hajri, stated: “I will be getting married soon but I realize that the mehar experience has a negative impact on society here. I feel the government should take note and work on a solution. It is nothing but financial exploitation.” Abdullah Al Dosari was also of the same mind and felt it should be brought to an immediate end.
According to sociologist Ameena Al Hail, people asking for huge amounts as mehar indicates a lack of religious thinking. “Young girls may look for grooms outside Qatari society. This will have an impact on local society,” she said.
Abdul Aziz Al Ansari stated; “The dowry demands are not exaggerated. It is just the personalities of Qatari men have become weak. They are allowing families of the girl to control them. If the man is spending on the wedding, why should they be willing to pay extra money as mehar?”
Abdul Aziz’ solution is simple. “Just say no,” he said.
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